The Birth of Deathwine

Life is messy and unpredictable. This past year has made that abundantly clear to me. And, if I’m honest, I was already pretty clear on the topic. There has been a lot of loss in the past year, but the one that affected me most has been the loss of my brother-in-law, Gavin.

Grief is a strange beast. I did not expect Gavin’s passing to affect me as deeply as it has. And yet, there’s hardly a day that goes by that I don’t think of him and miss him. His quiet presence has been in the background of every major milestone of my life since I was a teenager. And even more than that is knowing that for all the pain I feel, it cannot touch the pain that my sister and her children must be feeling. So, I do what I can to support them and let them know how very much I love them.

If you are wondering why I started a blog, Gavin’s loss is the inspiration. I have realized that, as a society, we are not good at talking about how messy life can be, or how to cope with that messiness. As my sister and I recently discussed, sometimes you are just face down in the mud, and the only thing anyone can do to help is to just sit with you. And it is OK. It is OK to just sit in the mud with your friend or family member in crisis. It is OK to experience grief, and sadness, and anger; uncertainty and anxiety. It is OK to be face down in the mud sometimes. It is normal, even.

Through Deathwine, I will share stories from my own life. Personal stories. Some will be funny; others will not be. My goal is to help open up conversations about how to deal with this crazy, messy world that we live in. How we can lift one another up and support each other. A favorite quote of mine is “Be the change you want to see in the world.” So, here we go. Thank you for joining me on this journey.